Will and Beyond

Archive for the category “Science”

Chemists Know

via Chemjobber

LinkedIn is mean

mean linked in


When someone is a grad student, this is mean. 6 years is fine, but it’s at the point you probably don’t want congratulations on still being there. If this number gets to 7 or 8, that’s when I murder anyone who says “congrats”.

25 Reasons I’m Getting Cancer

cancerReally the 10 reasons I’m getting cancer, and the 15 reasons I’m probably getting cancer.

Chemjobber alerted me that Department of Health and Human Services released their 13th Report on Carcinogens. Some of this is just normal life exposure (Alcoholic Beverage Consumption, Tobacco Smoke, Environmental), but a lot of this is just because I’m a synthetic chemist. Sure I take reasonable safety precautions, but my exposure to bad things is higher than lots of people.

Known To Be Human Carcinogens:

Alcoholic Beverage Consumption
Beryllium and Beryllium Compounds
Cadmium and Cadmium Compounds
Ethylene Oxide
Nickel Compounds (see Nickel Compounds and Metallic Nickel)
Solar Radiation (see Ultraviolet Radiation Related Exposures)
Strong Inorganic Acid Mists Containing Sulfuric Acid
Tobacco Smoke, Environmental (see Tobacco-Related Exposures)

Reasonably Anticipated To Be Human Carcinogens:

Lead and Lead Compounds
Propylene Oxide
Ultraviolet Radiation A (see Ultraviolet Radiation Related Exposures)
Ultraviolet Radiation B (see Ultraviolet Radiation Related Exposures)
Ultraviolet Radiation C (see Ultraviolet Radiation Related Exposures)

These last three are a bit odd considering Solar Radiation is listed in the known list, especially since Sunlamps/Sunbeds is listed in the known section as well. (Not on my list, that’s stupid.) Also, this reminds me of how awesome it is that CVS no longer sells cigarettes.

More ToC Silliness

claw game


As usual, keep an eye on TOCROFL for similar entertainment.

Go the fuck to work

From Labsolutely, in honor of Labor Day:

The windows are dark in the microscopy room,
The pumps are down to one millibar,
I’ll buy you a coffee if you swear
You’ll go the fuck to work.

The reflux went off and the reaction is almost dry,
The oil bath is on and the solid in the flask is black by now,
I know you’re not on your way.
That’s bullshit. Stop lying. Wake up, my darling,
and get your ass in the lab.

The condenser crashed and the lab is flooded,
Safety inspector whistling while looking around,
It’s been thirty-eight minutes already.
Sweet Berzelius, what the fuck? Go to work.

All the undergrads are at the fumehoods,
The postdoc is head-banging the NMR
Hell no, you can’t stop to the supermarket
You know where you can go? The fuck to work

You should go read the whole thing.


Every time I see the word ‘cleavage’ in a scientific article referring to some action of biological cells, I just shake my head ‘no’, and say to the article, “No, I’m sorry, science, you can’t really take back that word, no matter how hard you try.

Spot on, Dante.


PhD Comics; as amazing as usual.

phd conference

Also don’t forget that Jorge Cham and I have been BFFs since the 2010 Boston ACS:

Jorge Cham

Jorge Cham

C&EN Onion

Graduate Student Power Tripping After First Nature Publication

After receiving word earlier this morning that the draft of his manuscript submitted to Nature Chemistry was “accepted with minor revisions,” Scripps Research Institute graduate student Caleb Miller has reportedly lapsed into a state of megalomaniacal power tripping.  “I got… accepted… in Nature…” sources report Miller stating, initially with slight trepidation and disbelief.  “got into Nature,” he repeated emphatically.

Since initially learning of the success of his latest publication, Miller’s over inflated sense of self worth and rapidly ballooning ego have made working with him nearly impossible.  “He’s become insufferable,” stated Sarah Ferguson, a first year graduate student.  “I get that being published in Nature is a big deal, but Christ, maybe he could turn it down from eleven?”

“He actually — and I shit you not — demanded that we all refer to him as ‘your highness.’  Who does that?”  Ferguson added.

Reports indicate that Miller then attempted to start a chant of his own name in the lab.  “MILLER!  MILLER!  MILLER!” he chanted while loudly and rhythmically clapping his hands, eventually trailing off as lab members looked on with incredulity.  “What does he think this is, a football game? added Steven Jackson, PhD., one of the lab’s post-docs.  “I’m first author on two Nature papers and one in Science,” he added with slight indignation.

about cenAs of press time, Miller had constructed a crown from Parafilm, borosilicate transfer pipettes, and a large crystallization dish, and had re-purposed a large column for use as a scepter.

You really need to be reading C&EN Onion.

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