Dr. Celestino, why do girls have a uterus?
-Shashi
Do not let the other doctors fool you! I am the only doctor you should trust! You know why? Because I'm the doctor of The Truth(c), not to confused with those fools who advertise about the adverse effects of smoking. I mean smoking's bad, but y'ain't gonna convert no one by being jackasses and piling up fake dead bodies in the streets. People don't listen to lunatics!
Anyway, you all know the common knowledge about uteri.. egg+sperm=baby, baby lives in uterus for a while sucking nutrients out of the mother via umbilical cord, placenta, yada yada yada. I'm here to tell you, this can all be classified under the heading BUNK.
Like my uncle Rabbi Celestino says, "Oy vey! It's a miracle!" And that's exactly what a uterus is -- a miracle portal. When you insert a penis into the birth canal and wiggle it around, lots of icky stuff happens, and a baby is created, or so you thought... what really happens is that you open up the miracle portal so that the Stork, god of baby deliveries, can grant your wish to have a kid. So really, the penis is like the hand that rubs the magic lamp, and the Stork is the genie, and the uterus is the magic lamp, and the baby is the wish, and all that other junk you learned in school about sperm and eggs and junk is.. well, bunk.
But doctor, what's up with impregnating women with turkey basters and in vitro fertilization and stuff like that? Those are simply money making scams that the quacks who call themselves doctors invented to steal your hard earned moolah! They do the same thing everyone else does, tickle the miracle portal and coax a kid from the stork god! Do not be fooled by other doctors! They are quacks and simply want to tickle your miracle portals and steal your money! They're practically prostitutes, who should never be touching your woohaa! in the first place. But you can trust me, I'm a real doctor.
How do we know that Will is not the batman?
-Iris
The thing about secret identities is that they have to be secret. Now as we all know, Will, if he were to be the batman, would rub it in in all our faces. He would probably say things like "I'm leaving... secretly.. yes..." or "I have to go fight crime right now, but I shall return.. for the glory of Poland!" or "I'm the batman!"
So until he displays signs of this type, do not worry, white boy Will is not the Dark Knight.
Also, do not be fooled by the batman "pajamas" he wears. Just because they're made of "water resistent plastic", does not mean they're for fighting crime, but for fighting his persistent bed wetting habit.
Well, that's all the questions I have time for. I am the fastest urologist in all the land, ya know. Tune in next time when I answer more of your awesome questions, no matter how fast they come!
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