Greetings! It is I, Dr. Celestino, back from a long hiatus, to discuss a simple question which lead to surprising answers as well as other factoids that could improve anyone's day! So have a good read, keep banging out those questions, and I shall return to my urological self-research until the next one comes, uh, so to speak.
Why are people compelled to have sex in their offices and not shut the blinds?
-Talha
Having sex in the office is not only great for your sex life, but its added benefits to the rest of your life are astounding!
Really!
Making whoopee in general is healthy exercise, but doing in front of a window where everyone can see you is pretty much a win-win situation for everyone involved.
Let's start with the participants of the monster-two-backs sexcapade showcase. The value added from doing it at work instead of in the comfort of their own home is substantial. Combining work and play improves worker morale, creates strong bonds between co-workers, and allows for a brief recess from the stresses of the office. Plus, the health benefits include general exercise from the act of copulating, and improve blood flow from the excitement of doing the nasty in plain view of the public.
Secondary awesomeness effects also occur when office sex is in plain view. Any viewers of the office space shenanigans are getting a free show, whereas a trip to the local stripper bar will cost you at least $30, in singles of course. And have no fear of having to bust out the eye-bleach. People who have sex in front of windows are typically good-looking show-offs, and rightfully so. There's a 0.003% chance of the fornicators being ugly, since a) ugly people don't get banged as often as good-looking people, b) ugly people tend to have tremendous amounts of shame when naked, and c) ugly people tend to not get offices with windows, so that people don't get the wrong impression that a company is run by a bunch of uggos.
A pensive critique of the two or more lovers could be educational as well. Since the maters tend to be good-looking show-offs, this also means that they tend to have sex more often, and oddly enough, the sexual-education hungry out there can reap the rewards of good observation. Office window rendezvouses can be more fascinating than the Kama Sutra! If you have ever tried to have sex in an office, windows open or not, you would know that there are a variety of obstacles in the way, making the Catholicism-approved yet yawn-inducing missionary position nearly impossible. The combination of at least two horny people and an office desk can provide for more interesting positions than even the best sex-swing could offer! Be on the look out for intricate positions you could then utilize in your future sexual conquests.
Oh, and lastly, but most importantly, if you are lucky enough to record the lewd act with a video camera of some sort, you have the starting point for a plethora of business and personal ventures. Some of the amazing things that a video of office sex can be used for include: masturbatory purposes, blackmail, internet pornography for profit, or YouTube hilarity and embarrassment of the partakers of the public "doing".
So, the reasons people do have office sex are simple: they are horny, and love to fark, and want people to watch. However, do not look down upon this act. While the people humping may be in it for themselves, they are inadvertently improving the lives of everyone who witnesses them in the midst of their sexual activities.
As always, send questions to doctorcelestino@willandbeyond.com.
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