From Labsolutely, in honor of Labor Day:
The windows are dark in the microscopy room,
The pumps are down to one millibar,
I’ll buy you a coffee if you swear
You’ll go the fuck to work.
The reflux went off and the reaction is almost dry,
The oil bath is on and the solid in the flask is black by now,
I know you’re not on your way.
That’s bullshit. Stop lying. Wake up, my darling,
and get your ass in the lab.
The condenser crashed and the lab is flooded,
Safety inspector whistling while looking around,
It’s been thirty-eight minutes already.
Sweet Berzelius, what the fuck? Go to work.
All the undergrads are at the fumehoods,
The postdoc is head-banging the NMR
Hell no, you can’t stop to the supermarket
You know where you can go? The fuck to work
You should go read the whole thing.